Recently I have been thinking of a way to talk to my mom about me being bi. I really want to come out of my bisexual cocoon and become the butterfly I have always wanted to be. I know that of all my family she would understand. What’s difficult is the stigma that is going to be associated with being bi. I want to tell everyone, which is part of the reason I write this blog. At school today I felt as if everyone knew my secret, but in the end no one spoke to me about it.
When I sat in the locker room during gym, looking at all the half-dressed girls, I want them to know, I want them to accept me. Instead I dress quickly so that no one catches me staring at them. I think if only everyone would know, then I would be able to have a girlfriend. Then I think of how this is my senior year of high school and how I don’t want to be remembered as the crazy lesbian who came out with 5 months left in my high school life.
Instead I’ll hold it in until this summer, when I can come out and not expect to get ridiculed by my classmates. I can explore myself as I enter college, there people can know me as bisexual. They’ll never know me as anything else. So I stay tucked inside my bisexual cocoon. Maybe I’ll out myself to my mom this weekend. I hope I can go through with it, because I need someone close to me to know my secret.
Love and Kisses
Confused Cassie
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