Saturday, January 16, 2010

Acupuncture or a good f*ck?

I have had a brutal week. Basically it had me completely shut down by Friday afternoon, incapable of feeling a thing. Not good, not bad. Just…nothing.

In my unthinking automaton way I was able to get it together to go for my acupuncture appointment late in the day. I had been on a holiday hiatus and hadn’t really been thinking about it for weeks. Being stuck in the miasma of my head and all.

Before I go into what happened to me after my appointment I should give y’all the context of why I was doing acupuncture at all. It will make more sense in the end.

***POSSIBLE TRIGGER ALERT I’LL TELL YOU WHEN IT’S OVAH*****

I had suffered what I’d always assumed was permanent damage to myself thru my childhood sexual abuse. I had been bitten on the clit when I was around seven or so and it had left me with these horrible clitoral orgasms, which I learned to just tune out as I got older. Anyway, I was with my fabulous GP one day this fall and for reasons passing understanding I told her about it. She said right away no you don’t have to live with that, let’s do acupuncture. And in like six weeks it was fixed. Not wanting to screw around with this big new toy of mine I have continued to see her every week, until her month-long holiday break.

***OKAY NOW DANGER SHOULD BE OVAH***

So. As I say I hadn’t really been thinking about it being too busy falling apart in my head. But what happened to me yesterday is I think a powerful example of how either acupuncture or fantabulous sex can really help people with DID.

So I am sitting in doc’s office full of pins. I told her that I’d been shut down for about a week and she says yes well that can happen sometimes. I am back and we’ll get you working again. Thanks there, god.

As I sit there, digging that supercool energy flow thing, I become aware that it is totally settling in on my crotch. As soon as the last pin came out I practically raced to my car took the bumpy road home and f*cked myself silly.

So. Several things should be of note here. Oddly I am thinking in the first person singular. I don’t really know who I am but I’m the only one in here. The voices that splatter my brain have vanished. My client animals are responding to me with deeper trust than even I can engender.

It’s like there is a single channel flowing through me. Everything I see is hysterically funny. I’ve been laughing for a day. Fatigue brutal anxiety and The Shutdown–vanished.

So. Can acupuncture have the effect of creating internal singularity? Can it bridge the gap between the physical realm and mental/emotional energies?

Or is it just a really good f*ck?

[Via http://splinteredones.wordpress.com]

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