Becca grew up in Canton, MA, and now lives in New York City working at a non-profit film production company as an Executive Assistant/Associate Producer. She is the founder of the I Want the World to Know Initiative and is proud to finally share her coming out story with the world at the 10 month anniversary of the website. Becca was lucky in that she faced very few obstacles coming out to her family and friends. However, she recognized that most people are not as fortunate, often being tormented by peers, shunned by their families, or worse. For that reason, she decided to create a space–this website–where people of all sexualities can share their stories and find support. This video project is by far one of the most important and rewarding endeavors Becca has ever taken on. Its goal is not only to provide guidance and support, but also to educate and bring the LGBTQ community together. Becca will continue to share these stories and build this initiative until everyone feels safe to come out.
In her years as a cab driver, Natalia had seen some pretty freaky shit going on in her cab. Drug use, fights, sexual play; you name it, she saw it at least twice. Some very famous people had ridden in her cab and she was almost embarrassed to admit she took them to the places that got them in the headlines the next morning.
It was then Natalia realized she had to keep her emotions at home when it came to driving a cab. It was already bad enough to be a female cabbie in a world full of men. Concentrate on the job and getting the money, worry about stuff later, she told herself. But when she was offered a chance to view a lesbian sex show, well, that was new.
The fact she was still getting paid for it just made her day. She was already going to make a bit of money just taking the women to their destination. With the meter running as they performed their show for her, Natalia was already planning out what bills she as going to pay. She was going to get a show she would never forget and quite frankly, wouldn’t want to. Seeing live sex was nothing new to her; having a bonus to see it was quite exciting.
Natalia pulled into a secluded alleyway and parked the car. She turned off the lights and kept the engine running. “Here we are,” she spoke quietly without turning around.
Lisa handed Natalia a plug. “Can you put this in the auxiliary plug right there?” She motioned to the stereo.
Natalia grabbed the cord and put it in the auxiliary plug. “Alright,” she wasn’t sure if it was okay for her to turn around.
Alex softly laughed at Natalia’s shyness. “It’s okay to turn around.”
“Yeah,” Lisa chimed in, “we’re just horny lesbians.”
Took a few days off from blogging to spare myself (and you) reading my blah blah blah “I’m super high on my crush and she’s sooooo amazing” stuff.
HomoSonic was just as awesome as I needed it to be. J went with me and had a blast too.
I spent the back half of my night in a overly bright corner making out with a very sexy 38 year old…not a dark haired pixie-waif (cause she didn’t ask me to make out in a dark corner with her. it may have been my imagination, but I think she was regretting that later) but a blond athletic waif with the softest skin. This does not make me any less of an ageist btw, but if you are 38 and look 25 in a decently lit room, I’m into it. Really. into. it.
Ah mah zing. Two hours passed in about 5 minutes. Time warp of hot stranger. She didn’t take me home, even though I was being super charming and witty and generally very grown-up about the whole one night stand thing. We did trade digits and I’m not above calling her up to go out some night for some more dark cornering. (unless/until BRG! kills/cures me). Three cheers for grown-up let’s just admit this is a lust thing situations.
And Thank God she resisted my allure because it’s snowing and I would have got stuck at hers (and I’m way less beguiling when I’m forced to be with you as opposed to choosing to be with you) and I have a date?! with BRG tonight in which I plan on finagling my way back to her house for some quality cuddling and makey-outey. OKay, so it’s not really a date…she’s coming to a party I’m playing at (but she’s coming because I asked her to come) and then we (+ our mutual male friend who likes both of us, but maybe her more at the moment) are going to another party in DC.
But there’s alcohol involved…so I’m thinking it’s make a move time. For real. Worse comes to worse I get shot down, get drunk, and pass out in someone else’s bed. I’m not above that. Or sleeping in the back of my truck, but that’s not as glamorous.
Getlan, I am fueled by small miracles, slight displays of affection, and brief compliments…so I’ve spent the last 3 days trying to get a recording that lives up to your fervour praise. Now I’m hung over, sweatpanted, bed headed, acoustically distorted, extremely cocky, and snowed in so I’m just gonna post my best effort to date.
Finally, getting my tattoo on Tuesday. It’s going to be wicked.
Ok, well another story during my younger years was when I was in high school. I was very naughty, too grown up for my age and snuck out of the house at night. I went to a bar downtown because they allowed underage people in there.
This was a gay bar, I was not gay, I was 15/16 years old. I just wanted to have fun. Party and dance dance dance. I loved dancing. Every weekend and even some days during the week I would sneak out and go to this bar. Of course it had a lighted floor, everything just like the seventies, it was great and the music was even better; Gloria Gaynor, Blondie, Donna Summer, the list could go on forever, sigh.
The queer guys and the drag queens were so much fun. They just knew how to have fun and I didn’t feel threatened by them, because they had no interest in me and I didn’t feel like the lesbians there cared about me either, good grief I was 15 and 16 years old. I looked good but I’m sure I looked really young too.
Well, it was halloween and everyone wore a costume, well I dressed up like a play boy bunny in chocolate brown bunny type outfit, fishnet stockings, high heels. (I once had some red ones that even at the young age my mom and I had a joke and we called them, “Joan Crawford come fuck me pumps!”) with a little brown velvet blazer a choker, bunny ears and a bunny tail. I had so much fun dancing that night.
Later on I was standing in line for the bathroom and there was this girl. I had seen her before, she was very pretty with just enough make up and lipstick, cute hair cut and was very muscular. Like I said, we were standing in line and she forcefully grabbed me and kissed my deep and long our tongues locked. Oh my gosh, I was so shocked and so turned on. I thought for sure I would be turned off by another girl, but she threw me for a loop and I loved it. For the next several years I had girls my life. I hadn’t even graduated high school and my life had taken such a turn.
Somehow a real dyke butch girl (we will call her Deb) came after me and we were a thing for nearly a year. We hung out at a local country bar (dive) Dave and Ann’s was the name. Along the way another girl was vying for my attention and she was really cute, very domineering she wanted what she wanted and wouldn’t stop until she got it. So, she got me, Ricky.
Ok back to the first lesbian relationship, Deb as I said was a real dyke type girl. I mean she was very nice and cute just very masculine. I can’t remember ever really having an orgasm with her. What we did felt good, but I don’t remember having what I have now, a trembling, mind stopping orgasm. What she taught me to do and what she like was to fuck me until I squirted. Squirting had a different effect and I did it mostly because that is what she wanted. Now, the lesbian fucking we did was her putting her thumb in front of her like she had a dick and and fucking me until I squirted. Nevertheless, I left her for the cute brunette (Ricky) with brown eyes that followed me everywhere. I never had an orgasm with her either, so needless to say I was very frustrated all the time. I didn’t realize it then, but when I look back that was exactly what I was experiencing, frustration. She had plenty of orgasms with me doing what she wanted me to do and I did it. However, I was so in love with her, I loved kissing her and she had the most beautiful breast I have ever seen to this day.
Along the way I met a guy in this same community, he had a little spot of land he lived and worked on. He was a great guy, older. and he was so in love with me, my mom always thanked him for bringing me back home. I had left home at age 16 (for the girl) and barely graduated high school. Anyway, this guy brought me back and got me integrated back into my family. It was a bit sad at times when my two little brothers had friends over and I remembering them saying to my little brother, “I didn’t know you had a sister”. POW! That hurt, but it was my own fault…trying to grow up too fast.
Now, another time can’t remember exactly where it fits into the above stories (1-2 years after the above stories), but there was a guy (Brock) I knew, younger than me but so hot, cute, sexy young man. His father and my father worked together and we would see each other from time to time during the holidays, for instance we would go dancing on Christmas night. I always thought about sex with him but never thought he would even consider me. But oh one night we got together and it was so good, we were walking around the college campus bar hopping, a huge popular univeristy. I had actually moved to another state but was home visiting during the holidays.
After our bar hopping he suggested we drop by his apartment as it was on campus. I am a skirt girl, I love skirts, the shorter the better in my younger days. (I still wear them now (more age appropriate tho) because I love to stick my husbands hand up my skirt, or have him just pump his dick in me a few times as we are going about the house doing our thing on any given night or weekend.) Brock and I stopped by his apartment for a minute and he literally threw me on his bed, shove my skirt up, pulled my panties down and started eating my pussy, it was so so good. It was the best pussy eating I had ever had. For some reason the gilt was killing me and I made him stop eating my pussy and of course would not let him fuck me either. Don’t ask me why I didn’t let/want him to fuck me because it was so good. Anyway, he drove me to my parents and that may have been one of the last times I saw him.
Ok, now I’m back in the town my mother shipped me off to because I was not flourishing where I met all the girls, plus the girls were after me sort of. Wanting me back as their toy…sex slave toy I guess. So, I ran several hundred miles south.
Now, in the town I’m living I met a girl (Ryne) that dated a family member of mine, a guy. She was great and I really cared for her. Looking back I think she wanted to have sex with me but we never did, she was pretty but she wasn’t my type eventhough I cared for her, I just couldn’t initiate the sex. During this time (21 yrs old) she invited a friend of hers over, Jenny. Jenny came after me and I liked it. The first night I met her we were at Rynes house downstairs in the den floor and she insited on eating my pussy. Oh my gosh, she ate my pussy so good, she sucked my clit and gently with a flat tongue slowly moving across my clit and all around, she stayed after it until I had the first orgasm I had ever had with another human being. The only true ones were the ones I had masturbating, never with a person. I had done the squirting but that was never really satisfying. Now, Jenny was older than me and after that we saw each other occasionaly but we never had sex again.
Now, on to the guy. There was a guy in this town that was a friend of my brother and he (Pat) and I had occasionally been attracted to each other but had never gotten together, believe it or not we started dating it was so fun. I think he was a guy I had so much fun with rather we had so much fun together doing really odd things. Not always sexual either, just fun knocking around together and seeing stuff. Ok, to the sex part he and I were hanging out drinking with another couple, it was during Tracy Chapman’s hey day and I got so drunk I even ate some Étouffée. We left the restaurant, went to couples house and rocked to Tracy Chapmans Fast Car and another song I can’t recall, Pat and I dirty danced for an hour, we went to his house, passionately kissing, sucking each others neck, face, ears, fingers and undressing as we went. Pat layed back on the bed and I jumped on his dick, sitting squarly on it as far as it would go. Pat actually had a small penis, I didn’t realize it then because I’d never had intercouse so far (don’t hold me to that, I’m still thinking). The size really didn’t matter it felt great, I rode his dick for all it was worth. Of course I was uninhibited due to my drunken state. Suddenly I started feeling a feeling I had never felt before and realized I was about to have my first orgasm with a man during intercourse when he started moaning and came.
Needless to say I was left feeling unfulfilled, but it was ok. I was happy about the realization that I could actually have an orgasm with a man during intercourse. The story of Pat and I had actually started before this and continued after this (*I might add that in later). The last time I saw him (2 years ago), it was late and I had to go to bed, times have changed I was working, etc. Nevertheless, I said I’ve got to go to bed before I turn into a pumpkin. Briefly I saw him again the next day and he told me that when I made the comment about going to bed, he wanted to say, “Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater”. He still turns me on,probably always will, but I’m married now.
*Ok, had to add this it’s one part of the two parts I was going to add later. We used to go to the beach together and boy did we have fun, he loved for me to lay on my stomach on the beach while he rubbed tanning lotion into my legs, he would put so much oil on my thighs it was rediculous, he would put it on and just rub my thighs over and over, it made me so hot, my pussy would just be throbbing by the time we left the beach and got back to his place. He threw me on the bed and ate my pussy, I still had my panties on and he had just shoved them aside and was licking and sucking me, one time he had an orgasm when he was eating me. Then we would fuck fuck fuck, it was so fun. Like I said, I haven’t seen him in two years, wonder when the next time will be.
I have some serious love for Stacy London she hosts one of my favorite shows What Not To Wear has the same passion for fashion and love for high heels that I do and can be a blunt bitch when necessary and sweet as pie the next minute. She is a great spokeswoman for Pantene hair products and does it even with a contract that allows her to keep her streak of grey hair that she has had since she was 11 due to her medical condition psoriasis. She also is a spokesperson for National Psoriasis Foundation which i think is a great use of her fame. Stacy loves herself, which i think is how we should all be and has stated “I have been every size in my life. I’ve been smaller than a zero, up through a size 16. I’ve had lots of issues with body image and weight my whole life and it really took a great deal of work to recognize that at all those weights, no matter how I felt, I could still find a dress that made me feel sexy and powerful.” See why I love her?
Anyhoo, i came across a great quote by Stacy last week and I thought it would be the nice starting point for this Project HF post.
“Don’t get hung up on the size. If you feel bad about yourself because a 12 is what fits, take a Sharpie, and write ‘6′ on the label”
A lot of us really get way too hung up on the label. Some people consider that an indicator of their personal health and a detriminent to our happiness too. It’s the same as people who freak out over 10 new pounds on the scale that can’t handle going up a size in clothes either and it is just as ridiculous. Your opinion of yourself and whether your healthy and beautiful or not should not be based on how you fall into the scheme of things size wise compared to a fit model. It’s just dumb. Sizes are supposed to be there so we at least have a starting point when shopping for clothes and trying things on and thats it.
So lets say you’ve always been a size 14 and on your last shopping venture nothing in that size fit right. It was too tight in the thighs or didn’t button unless you held your breath. ”But I’m a size 14!” you groan out in anger. Well apparently maybe in that store, or that fit, or hell maybe you’ve just grown a bit, you need to move up a size. Don’t be in size denial just because you don’t like the idea of a larger number on a stupid tag that no one is going to see anyways! What service is it going to be to you or anyone else trying to squeeze into that smaller size just because the tag is more to your liking? First off if you do wear it your going to be uncomfortable, secondly if it’s too tight it’s probably going to synch in weird places and not be very attractive on you. Give in go up a size and work it, no one but you is going to know that it’s a size 24 instead of a 22, and even if they did who the fuck cares?
Something I love about alot of plus sized stores (especially my local favorite Torrid) is that they have changed their sizing to a different scale that I think promotes size acceptance and also helps us to feel better about ourselves. Torrid which in regular size patterns starts at a size 14 calls that a 0 then sizes go up respectively to 1, 2, 3, 4 and so on. I really enjoy the fact that I can put on a dress that the tag will read size 2. Any possible negative thoughts about myself that could arise (we all have our moments) just don’t when I am shopping this size scale. Their sizing is not threatening, embarrassing and makes for a more positive shopping experience in my opinion. Another reason shopping at plus sized stores is WONDERFUL!
Lets say you are at a point where you are in between sizes. Something great about ignoring the number and going up a size is it gives you a chance to tailor and make it fit YOUR body perfectly not just the fit models. When you buy something a bit bigger rather than too tight it allows you to take control of the garment instead of letting the garment control you. Think about it, when you buy an item that is a bit too snug, it is in complete control, you can’t bend and move to your heart’s content, sometimes you can’t breath as deeply as you like, you end up pulling it down and tugging at it all day… see it’s not only controlling you but also putting a damper in your day! If you buy something, lets say a dress, bigger its your choice what you do with it. Maybe you wear it a bit loose & go for that comfortable hobo chic look, or maybe you pair it with a great belt to bring it in at the waist and accent your curves, maybe you take it to a tailor and get it taken-in in all the right places…bottom line is what you do with the garment is up to you, YOU ARE IN CONTROL. Isn’t being the boss of your own wardrobe fabulous?
So still can’t get see past the number on the tag than hell follow Stacy’s idea get out that Sharpie and write over it with the size you like. Either way figure it out and feel Happily Fatshionable in your clothes no matter what the size!
Next on Project Happily Fatshionable the The Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polkadot Bikini Elephant In The Room. STAY TUNED!
. . . is Hillbuzz, written by a bunch of gay guys in Chicago. You might be thinking my blog has been hijacked, but never fear. Do I disagree with them on some matters about human sexuality and God? Well, duh. But we have a lot in common and it is good to read different perspectives, and these guys have a lot of important things to say. And they are funny and much more charitable to Christianity than you’d expect. I’d trust them way more than theological Liberals whose religion is just Lefty politics in disguise.
Oh, and they are being viciously attacked and threatened by extremists on the Left because they dare to criticize President Obama. Please pray for their safety, as I do.
Consider this post and a few excerpts below. Very insightful.
Question: Who will be left to help Haiti once all the Liberals get back to thinking about Oscar season?
We’re just going to answer this question right now: Christians.
Christians will be in Haiti helping rebuild that country, working in deplorable conditions, and, frankly, giving every last bit of themselves to rebuild Port-au-Prince and relieve as much suffering as possible.
George Clooney will take his beard back to Italy, or wherever he goes with it (or her, depending on how you want to define that), on his private jet, probably snacking on roast peacock and baby seal, all the while lambasting the rest of the masses for their carbon footprints and general thoughtlessness.
. . .
Liberals don’t build things. They don’t get their hands dirty. They just attack people, call them RAAACISTS! when they don’t agree with the Liberal talking points, and then get back into their limousines to ride twelve feet to the red carpet.
More and more we think about the difference between the way we are personally treated by the Left and the Right. To be blunt, neither extreme likes gays all that much. Liberals are smart enough to put on a good face about it in public, but behind closed doors they make their jokes, too, and can be far crueler than you could ever imagine. The Right’s foolish because — and we honestly believe this — conservatives are less prejudiced, reactionary, and hateful than Liberals…but they just don’t know how to do good PR. Maybe it’s because conservatives are largely quiet, on the whole, and tend to mind their own business…so the random zealots who condemn people like us to fire and brimstone and eternal suffering (what, like having to watch MSNBC?) get more airplay.
As we’ve said before, about the worst thing a Republican ever did to us was tell us they were going to pray for us “to get better”, so we would suddenly one day wake up and be all about Ann Hathaway, and not focused on how last-season her Oscar dress is.
. . .
Remind us why Liberals are so much better than Republicans again, for gays, or for anything else. While you’re at it, please explain why Christians are so persecuted by the media, and so maligned day in and day out…and yet these people jump into the fray when people need help.
While Liberals wait in the limousine for the best lighting to step out, for their photo op, to tell the cameras how sad they are about things like Haiti.
I hope the Central Valley comes and supports the very good foundation not only will it show that the Central Valley cares, but it will also show unity among all gay and lesbians, in the hold world that we do care about others not just ourselves so please come support Empress 36 of San Diego and friends to raise money for a wonderful foundation all money raised that is 100% will be given to the Matthew Shepard foundation. Hope to see you all there!!!!!
“You look drunk [my name], you should probably go to sleep.”
I finally feel relaxed. I did’t have to go through with it. She looked at me like I’d just shot her down.
“Bugger” I thought, I just did. I hand over some pj’s to compensate. She looks down at them.
“a bull? you’re making me wear a fucking t-shirt with a bull on it. Jesus [my name]” I quickly realise by the tone of her voice that this is no ordinary question. Oh no. It’s a statement.
I jerk away and in my stupor it only leads to a stumble, right onto her. Shit, it’s too late, our lips have met. This only happens in Dawson’s Creek. Joey should know full well by now it’ll never work out. Our meet-and-greet could not have gone any worse. She is saying “Hello!”, but I only nod in acknowledgment. It was as distasteful as not brushing your teeth for four days and running your tongue long them. Furry. Remind me next time to take someone back, not of the same height. If only I’d fallen on her forehead instead. Shame. Maybe next time? I hope to God that she doesn’t roll over in the middle of the night and try and kiss me.
No, of Course, I’ll just do that thing I am so good at: Pretending. To. Be. Asleep. I think it works a little too well. Sometimes.
Because we kissed at the party, do we have to continue? I like you, but you’re a nice girl. Nice girls aren’t going to pin me, I won’t get any bruises. There won’t be any power struggles, biting, scratching. Just slow sex. Nice? Well, I’d rather save up my money and go to The Fat Duck instead of blowing my dough on two mediocre dinners (no-offence Hung Lam, but Heston is a Hero). You know the cinematography will be beautiful and just like A Prophet, unfortunately, it’ll just be too long and you’ll get bored. The main character, well he’ll just lose your sympathetic eyes.
So no, I did not feel “the sun, the moon, the mountains (or even) the river”.
Good night nice girl. We all know your dreams will be nothing but sugar and spice.
As life develops we tend to progress with the relationships in our lives. Shedding acquaintances and the faux friends acquired through time. As we grow, we notice that the circle of true friendships become more about quality verses quantity. Life circumstances dictate the strong ties we build. Either we cherish them- or relationships become another cigarette butt thrown out the car window as we cruise through life on our own bumpy potholed road.
My husband, soul mate, life partner, best friend and yes my KING has opened my eyes to the wonderment of a TRUE relationship. A relationship of understanding, mutual respect, individuality, oneness and compromise. I love his approach to our marriage. Gentle, loving, open, supportive and protective. While we share the same creative mind, our individuality is always our own. Our goals always clear, known and mutual. Our own relationship has been such a strong foundation that many of the same principals transcend to every relationship I encounter. Friends, family even how I deal with various play partners in the scene.
In the recent years he’s opened himself up to learn more about BDSM/ KINK. He loves the beauty and art of the Lifestyle, yet participation isn’t in his grasp. His limited knowledge and experience has had him inquire more. He’s fascinated by many aspects and has done a bit of exploring of his own.
I recall attending a fetish event with him and being so excited he wanted to attend- that I missed the quick lesson in protocol and disclaimer I should have given prior to leaving the house. Long story short, he approached a collared slave and couldn’t understand WHY he was not responding to his very polite introduction and offer of a gentlemanly hand shake. After a few moments of proding the very well behaved slave who was being orderly and obedient- then steps out of his ’sub-space’ and leans over to my husband and courteously says: “Hey man I know you’re new, but I’m not allowed to talk to you. I’m NOT being rude. I just can’t.” Then the slave retreats and assumes the same position his Master left him in.
I caught the tail end of the conversation and saw the slave retreat. A wonderful way to handle the situation I thought and I appreciated the way he approached my husband. After explaining what just happened, my husband and I laughed and it has actually turned into a fond memory for us. Although what made me happy was my husband’s reaction. While we did find humor in the situation, I noticed that he felt embarrassed by his lack of knowledge and his non intended disrespect. He seeked out the slave’s Master and humbly apologized, acknowledging that there was not any intended disrespect by his earlier actions. He simply did not know. My husband did this on his own accord. The Master was kind and generous and welcomed my husband into the scene with a “No harm, No foul…thank you for respecting our protocol.” Most folks would of been intimidated, my husband was man enough to do the right thing.
As we’ve grown in our own personal relationship- he has come to the conclusion that he can appreciate the BDSM Lifestyle, but it is not one he practices. We share many of the same friends from my world and that both adore and love dearly. My husband allows me to be me and practice a Lifestyle independent of his own. I do keep the lines of communication open and the conversation always flowing. He knows all the toys I play with. The submissives I train and those I intend to collar. As he puts it: “Go ahead, do you…I appreciate what you do. I just can’t wrap my head around it.” He still attends fetish events with me and KNOWS who to approach now. lol Although he can’t ‘wrap his head around it’…I do notice how royally comfortable he is when I send my female toys to attend to him and sit at his feet. A King is a King. He IS MY KING and I’m a grateful Queen to share court with him.
Originally I thought this was the weakest season, but after a second g0-around, I am in love. L-O-V-E! I think I was angry that the drug plot was sidelined this season. But now looking at it, I see the docks as another important element to the decay of the U.S. culture. Unions in particular have been gutted since the 80’s and people have to do what they have to do to stay alive even if that means doing something illegal. I loved the eventual reunion of the police team. I was oddly sexually attracted to Ziggy, which of course kind of scared me. I loved seeing my favorites Omar, Bubbs, String and the others featured in-between the docks plotline. This show is outstanding and a must-see for everyone.
I adore women. Admittedly, thats a qualifying criteria in order to be Lesbian, sure! But I really adore them. I like men, even really love some of them. But women are fascinating. Yet, while some of us may lament the fact that we suffer many a straight crush and very few a lesbian-chance-in-hell-of-finding-out-your-straight-crush-is-really-gay-and-live-happily-ever-after stories, If we were to keep aside our libidos for just a minute we may enjoy ALL if not most of our experiences/interactions with women. Enough to put a big grin on our faces and ride out the rest of the day. Now, this may appear to be a consolation or reassurance for a very lonely, very single Lesbian in a city with many queer Queer People and no one just for her.
Darn, You are onto me.
But given that we all fall in (unrequited) love with straight friends, we all deal with constant harassment about marriage from the well-meaning folks, some enter into MoCs, we all for the most part are oh so slightly apprehensive of the American Queer girl club/bar scene , we all feel that distinct discomfort when we make gender neutral statements, we all bawled on 2-July-09, we all think sarees on other women look better than sarees on ourselves, we all secretly read Lesbian fan fiction because they seem truer than our lives and we all love Claire Forlani Women, we may as well enjoy ALL our interactions with them instead of the very few/almost none that we are allowed to take to where we want it to go.
Well, I plan to go out this weekend and have a rollicking good time. Who knows ? Maybe I will meet someone not-so-straight and great.
January 11, 2010
APPLY FOR 1 OF 4 $2,000 BPF SCHOLARSHIPS
The Bulldog Pride Fund at Fresno State expects to provide four $2,000 scholarships ($8,000 total) for the 2010-11 academic year.
The BPF scholarship criteria is that a Fresno State incoming or returning student with good academic standing that has demonstrated pride in the community be selected as its recipient(s). The BPF also bestows the GSA Network Award.
The deadline to apply for the Bulldog Pride Fund, as well as all scholarships at Fresno State, is Feb. 28, 2010. See www.bulldogpride.org for details.
TOTAL DONATIONS TO BPF SURPASS $170,000
Earlier this month, total donations to the Bulldog Pride Fund surpassed $170,000. One-hundred percent (100%) of each and every donation is directly deposited into a stand-alone endowment account that is invested in a diverse portfolio with the assistance and guidance of Merrill Lynch (Fresno), one of the world’s leading financial management and advisory companies. (No percentage of any donation is used for operating and/or related administrative expenses).
The Bulldog Pride Fund accepts cash, checks and credit card gifts, as well as donations in the form of securities, real property and corporate matching gifts. Also, gifts derived from beneficiary designations on life insurance policies, retirement plan accounts, living wills and trusts are welcome.
Include the Bulldog Pride Fund in your estate plans today and support student scholars at Fresno State in the future.
SPECIAL THANKS FROM INAUGURAL BPF SCHOLAR JARED LINDO ‘09 My time as a Fresno State student has been valuable. Every moment has been filled with learning and growing experiences inside and outside the classroom. Fresno State has given me much more than a first-class education; it has given me the opportunity to build character and grow as an individual.
Three years ago, when I received my initial scholarship from the Bulldog Pride Fund, I realized there were others in the community who held the same values that I have found at Fresno State. The Bulldog Pride Fund is fueled by understanding individuals in the community who have entrusted their treasures to support students. This great generosity has made it possible for me to attend and graduate from Fresno State.
My future personal and professional success won’t be found in what I have achieved, but in what I continue to support. I pledge to contribute to the Bulldog Pride Fund and to donate my time as a mentor to future students for the rest of my life.
I offer heartfelt and sincere thanks to the donors of the Bulldog Pride Fund who have helped make my educational dream come true.
— Jared Lindo, three-time BPF scholar, donor and graduate; B.S., Civil Engineering, Class of 2009
ABOUT THE BPF AT FRESNO STATE
Founded in 2005 and officially recognized in 2006 under the auspices of the Fresno State Alumni Association, the Bulldog Pride Fund is an endowment dedicated to providing an annuity to support student scholarships at Fresno State.
Since its inception, the Bulldog Pride Fund has awarded $13,000 in scholarships to deserving students. All made possible by the generosity of donors that are transforming the lives of BPF scholars, which represent some of the best and brightest students attending Fresno State.
Donations to the Bulldog Pride Fund are always welcome and tax-deductible to the full extent of the law. Thank you for your support.
BPF Non-Discrimination Policy In compliance with federal and state legislation, all Bulldog Pride Fund at Fresno State applicants and awardees are considered without regard to: sex, race, age, color, creed, religion, national origin, political affiliation, sexual orientation, gender, marital status, disability or covered veterans status. The BPF actively seeks and encourages applicants from all segments of our diverse society.
GIVE TODAY. FOR TOMORROW AND BEYOND. www.bulldogpride.org
Conservative attorney Ted Olsen, on the Proposition 8 case he’s arguing with liberal attorney David Boies, as quoted by Maureen Dowd in the New York Times in her New York Times column:
We’re going to explain why allowing same-sex couples to have that same right that the rest of us have is not going to hurt heterosexual marriages. It has no point at all except some people don’t want to recognize gays and lesbians as normal, as human beings.
Exactly.
Unfortunately, those people are willing to trash the Constitution’s notion of equal protection to try to avoid that recognition. It’s sad — and dangerous — that they think that misguided end justifies those horrific and unpatriotic means.
Somehow pain goes from something so harsh that breathing becomes gasping for air, eating becomes shoving food down to a stomach that can barely stand it, and living is nothing but forcing your eyes open after a blessed eight hours of unconscious, to just a twinge of something that still manages to taint everything joyful in your life. Okay, very melodramatic, and I only felt like I was hyperventilating for a few hours afterward, but still, for a good few months there, life was pretty much zombie-land. After that, the winter seems to move inside of you, so that to all purposes you can act and appear normal.
What I want to know is how long it’s okay to feel sad, and how the hell I’m supposed to stop. Is the rest of my life going to be haunted by this person? Is it going to take new people, new places in my life to drag me out of this? Or am I stuck? Six months and counting.
I did something really shitty and mean and stupid, and one of my best friends (and also the first person I ever loved, though she didn’t reciprocate it) and she’s unable to forgive me…
I hardly ever see her anymore, but we have mutual friends and every time I run into her, I feel just like I did at the beginning…
I have had a brutal week. Basically it had me completely shut down by Friday afternoon, incapable of feeling a thing. Not good, not bad. Just…nothing.
In my unthinking automaton way I was able to get it together to go for my acupuncture appointment late in the day. I had been on a holiday hiatus and hadn’t really been thinking about it for weeks. Being stuck in the miasma of my head and all.
Before I go into what happened to me after my appointment I should give y’all the context of why I was doing acupuncture at all. It will make more sense in the end.
***POSSIBLE TRIGGER ALERT I’LL TELL YOU WHEN IT’S OVAH*****
I had suffered what I’d always assumed was permanent damage to myself thru my childhood sexual abuse. I had been bitten on the clit when I was around seven or so and it had left me with these horrible clitoral orgasms, which I learned to just tune out as I got older. Anyway, I was with my fabulous GP one day this fall and for reasons passing understanding I told her about it. She said right away no you don’t have to live with that, let’s do acupuncture. And in like six weeks it was fixed. Not wanting to screw around with this big new toy of mine I have continued to see her every week, until her month-long holiday break.
***OKAY NOW DANGER SHOULD BE OVAH***
So. As I say I hadn’t really been thinking about it being too busy falling apart in my head. But what happened to me yesterday is I think a powerful example of how either acupuncture or fantabulous sex can really help people with DID.
So I am sitting in doc’s office full of pins. I told her that I’d been shut down for about a week and she says yes well that can happen sometimes. I am back and we’ll get you working again. Thanks there, god.
As I sit there, digging that supercool energy flow thing, I become aware that it is totally settling in on my crotch. As soon as the last pin came out I practically raced to my car took the bumpy road home and f*cked myself silly.
So. Several things should be of note here. Oddly I am thinking in the first person singular. I don’t really know who I am but I’m the only one in here. The voices that splatter my brain have vanished. My client animals are responding to me with deeper trust than even I can engender.
It’s like there is a single channel flowing through me. Everything I see is hysterically funny. I’ve been laughing for a day. Fatigue brutal anxiety and The Shutdown–vanished.
So. Can acupuncture have the effect of creating internal singularity? Can it bridge the gap between the physical realm and mental/emotional energies?
For the very first time today, I found myself frustrated by the absense of the letter “Q” in an acronym. It doesn’t take much deduction to work out that I am referring to LGBT, in this case the pang caused when I saw a tweet about LGBT Labour.
I know it seems petty, and I always thought it was, but, while there is no intention to exclude anyone, the slip of the “queer” does reflect a general ignorance of the queer community in wider society. Dozens of times I’ve had to explain my own sexuality and gender identity to people. Most assume I’m gay on first meeting me, when I say that I’m not, they jump to bisexual, should I stress that I’m not bi either, they then assume I’m straight and that they’ve insulted me horribley. I used to let it slide and settle for bi, but I’m proud of my sexuality as pansexual, and am now more than willing to spend time explaining it to those out of the loop. I’m fairly certain even my most liberal thinking of friends have had this conversation with me in the past. So no, I don’t call myself lesbian, gay or bisexual, thus I fall outside of your title.
Then there comes “T”. I’m not trans, but nor is my gender identity straightforward. The term is genderqueer and it’s another one I’ve had to explain often, usually when someone sees me binding and packing for the first time.
While it’s true that a sadly large proportion of the straight community is hostile to the LGBTQ community in some form, be it the homophobic, biphobic or transphobic, and this is why groups like this are so important, there is also a worrying amount of negativity within the queer community. Many gay people are biphobic and a fairly sizeable chunk of non-straight people are transphobic, and the same goes for reactions to pansexuals, genderqueers, asexuals and so on. In the USA there are Queer-Straight Alliances to fight inequality, which sound to me an excellent idea and definitely something we should try over here. But the recognition of the “Q” would be a good start.
So many organisations go to and fro about including “queer” (sometimes designated as questioning, though queer seems to cover that better). I’ve never entirely understood what the issue was. Talking to a friend of mine (@McWilloughby on Twitter), he suggested that “part of the problem is that people not in the know are too used to “queer” being a derrogatory term for a gay person.” I suspect he’s probably right, it’s another case of terms being hijacked as insults, as “gay” has been too. But it’s about time it was reclaimed. The most welcoming community I have ever been a part of, the Post Secret Community LGBTQ boards, have only added the “Q” in the past month or so, having been active for years. Many student groups still don’t have it, and neither do those attached to most political organisations. Though there is no harmful intention, if we really want equality, we must be completely inclusive. Alliances are the ideal, but in the meantime, let us queers join in too please.
The title of this post comes from Andrea Gibson’s poem, Swingset, which fairly accurately explains me, as it goes. http://genderkid.wordpress.com/2009/01/05/swingset/
Now I’m not twee, but I do listen to twee; in the same way that I like girls and I am one, but I’m pretty homophobic. This is unlike my hatred for hippies.
Dancing drunk to twee, well it’s a sight. Especially after the one girl I want to kiss doesn’t want to kiss me. I’m not going to lie, that’s a BIG blow to Ego. Ego hasn’t felt like this in a very long time.
Solution:
a). make two twee girls cheat on their partners (one with boyfriend, other with girlfriend)
b). but to minimise guilt and the fact that you are precious with your cherry these days do nothing more but kiss. Just a many kiss. No harm done. Proceed to the check-out, remove Nixon/Hefner from your head and shove in some Devo or Slayer. Get completely and utterly inebriated and fain happiness.
c). be a cunt and run away (now this is integral).
Is it time to take a break? I do want to maintain my good girl persona after all.
Actually, the video entitled “TP Pride 3″ is the first one chronologically.
I wish I could say more about this Pride, but alas I can’t. I was only there for about an hour and it almost entire consisted of us chasing the parade (and taking pictures along the way), trying to talk to a few people, and watching this performance. ^^ But, I’m glad I went.
Yesterday after reading this post and tweeting back forth with LMC herself I decided to follow her always fashionable lead and do a bit of a No Shopping Challenge for myself! I am a shopping addict, when asked my hobbies it is always my number one. I shop when I’m happy, shop when i’m sad, shop when i’m bored and sometimes just shop for the hell of it! I am constantly tempted by online sales notices and all the women who work at every plus sized store in my area know me by name, rank and dress size. Obviously I’m a bit of a shopaholic. Now I’m not saying there is anything wrong with me or anyone else loving them some shoppin, but my closet is so full and my savings account is absoluetely empty so its time to give no shopping a try. Nightrider and I want to go on a couple vacations this year so i figure what better way to save for some travel then to cut down my shoe and dress budget. Now since i’m not as awesome as LMC and am honestly a totally scaredy cat I’m only committing myself to 30 days. If i find that its working for me and i’m saving cash then thats awesome and maybe i will give 90 days a try, we will see. I am hoping that I will rediscover alot of the clothes I currently have hiding and will develop some new styles for myself, i should be exciting and I will be documenting about it from time to time.
Here are the rules
No shopping for the following items for 30 days. Simple as that.
1. Clothing
2. Shoes
3. Accessories
4. Makeup
5. Home Decor
Starting today January 7th and ending February 7th, just in time for me to get a new dress for Valentines day!
If anyone sees me with that lovely hot pink Torrid credit card before the 2/7/2010 you have the right to tackle me.
You see, once a New Year has passed, everyone is buzzing about with one thing on their minds. Resolutions. I made the decision a few years ago to end the damning cycle of creating false promises, by not creating any at all. (Well at least I tried)
We can all try, and try as we might, but even I have to admit that something about having to change the way you write the date, and starting back in January, and knowing you have a whole year of seasonal colours (as in nature – not fashion) to look forward to; it just makes me want to think and feel positivity. I want to say to myself – let’s make that change.
I mean, there’s plenty to be made.
But, as much as I hate to admit it; I’m lazy and somewhat apathetic. When it comes to physical changes – y’know, maybe deciding to go for a jog twice a week, and giving up the chocolate biscuits – it’s hard. Really hard in fact. Yet I’m faced with the “Weight Watchers” adverts telling me how I should be living my life, and what I should be striving to achieve. Their false imagery only makes me feel worse. Because what they want me to attain is a long, long, long way off.
So instead of feeling bad about it all, I try not to get pulled in. I want to live a life free from making myself feel bad; and full of making positive changes as and when they are needed or called-upon. This, I have decided is the way forward.
Even so, I still cling onto the romantic idea that with a new year, things will be different. I can move on from the past. I can forget the bad. I can expect to see change in both myself and in others… Does it ever happen though?
What I do want to do though, is something I did last year.
Educators like to think that endlessly scaring their students into exams and revision actually works – I can tell them now, it doesn’t. If anything, it has the opposite effect. By depressing us, you make us lose any enthusiasm we might have otherwise had; and thus it works out worse for all of us. Last year though, my educators decided upon a new tactic – to make us plan a-head.
We had to write a short letter to ourselves, explaining what we had achieved in the past twelves months, and what we aim to achieve in the next twelve months, along with what we want out of life in the long-term.
I wrote in January last year that I wanted to come out. I wanted to embrace the “real me”, and stop hiding behind the wall of blandness and lies I had built around myself.
Upon receiving the letter nine months later; I realised I had gone a long way towards achieving that. I’d gone from being the girl who daren’t even write on her letter “I am a lesbian” to acknowledging it to all of my friends and family.
So this year, I want to try this again; and I also think it should be something that any of you should try to do too.
Acknowledge the positive in you life, and acknowledge the changes you want to make; and cement the ideas and plans you have for yourself in the future. Apart from being a brilliant therapeutic method, when you come to read your letter in many months away from now, you’ll learn something new about yourself.
So in approximately twelve months time – I’ll say next Christmas – I shall update on what my letter said, and how far I have gone towards achieving the goals and personal changes and progress I want to make.
I hope everyone had a good New Year’s Eve – I know mine was good, although only in the sense I had fun. I’m still hopelessly single, and a virgin to lesbian sex. How depressing!
So having gained about 12 lbs from almost six months not smoking, I’m considering some exercise options to get back in shape. When I say back in shape I mean my figure of 10 years ago so blaming it on not smoking is a bit lame. Anyway first on my list of considerations is getting a personal trainer but that seems a bit up itself. The last conversation I had about a lesbian PT wasn’t too convincing either & not good form especially at our age I.e 40 plus.
Recently I have been thinking of a way to talk to my mom about me being bi. I really want to come out of my bisexual cocoon and become the butterfly I have always wanted to be. I know that of all my family she would understand. What’s difficult is the stigma that is going to be associated with being bi. I want to tell everyone, which is part of the reason I write this blog. At school today I felt as if everyone knew my secret, but in the end no one spoke to me about it.
When I sat in the locker room during gym, looking at all the half-dressed girls, I want them to know, I want them to accept me. Instead I dress quickly so that no one catches me staring at them. I think if only everyone would know, then I would be able to have a girlfriend. Then I think of how this is my senior year of high school and how I don’t want to be remembered as the crazy lesbian who came out with 5 months left in my high school life.
Instead I’ll hold it in until this summer, when I can come out and not expect to get ridiculed by my classmates. I can explore myself as I enter college, there people can know me as bisexual. They’ll never know me as anything else. So I stay tucked inside my bisexual cocoon. Maybe I’ll out myself to my mom this weekend. I hope I can go through with it, because I need someone close to me to know my secret.
Now that 2010 is officially here, I thought it would be interesting to look back at 2009 to see how far we have come as an community. For a lot of us (me included) 2009 was a horrible year, there were some positives that we can embrace. This top 10 listing was culled from research done at the Bilerico Project blog and writer Bil Browning:
Number 10: Adam Lambert, Lady Gaga & Chaz Bono reveal themselves to the world!
Lambert, Lady Gaga and Bono
So what happens when you don’t tuck properly – you get embarrassed (or at the least) you shock your adoring audience. Thus the country’s revelation that Lady Gaga is bisexual or transgendered. Did it hurt her career? Not in the least, as she continues to sell records by the thousands. Adam Lambert of American Idol fame came out of the closet and also caused quite a stir by simulating a sex act at the American Music Awards – thus confirming the double standard that its okay for straight folks to do it in public but gay folks can’t. Finally, Chaz Bono came out stating he was beginning his “transition” thus helping to bring the issues of transgendered people to the forefront. Number 9: Stonewall Riots – history repeat itself once again.
The police are at it again
The Stonewall Riots may have occurred in 1969 but that hasn’t stopped history from repeating itself again. Texas ABC agents and Ft. Worth Police stormed the opening of a gay bar sending one man with brain injuries to the hospital. Texas ABC ended up firing two of its agents for the incident while the Ft. Worth Police maintained the patron brought the injuries onto himself. Is police brutality on the rise? Is police brutality against gay folks on the rise? Ask many people and they will tell you yes.
Number 8: Can California overturn Prop 8?
It was originally a 2008 story- California voters denying same-sex marriage. In 2009, attempts were made and failed to overturn Prop 8 with the right hiring top gun lawyers and forming all kinds of new political action groups. Will a new measure hit the ballots in 2010 or 2012? Only time will tell. The most important question to ask is “will the people of California finally realize that gay marriage is not something to be scarred of.”
Is Obama for Gay Rights?
Number 7: The Justice Department says DOMA is okay?
Although this created a stir in the gay community and a backlash against President Obama, it’s result comes as no surprise. DOMA is legal and on the books; so when the Justice Department had to make a statement because of a legal challenge – surprise- they had to defend the current law. Who would have thunk it!! Somehow (of course) that defense was translated to Obama doesn’t want to help the LGBT community and all of a sudden, the community is up in arms. Will DOMA get overturn on Obama’s watch? Hopefully. Will don’t ask, don’t tell get repealed? Probably. But 2009 was a nightmare for the country and you can only do so much. I think our community needs to have just a little patience – after all – if McCain was in office – we would never get what we want.
Number 6: The LGBT print media doesn’t recognize changing times.
The LGBT print media suffered from the same fate as its hetero counterparts. Not recognizing that the public has steadily moved away (for years) from print media in favor of the more convenient online services. It is surprising considering that many LGBT folks get their information exclusively online, you would think that publications like “The Washington Blade,” TWIT,” David’s Magazine,” “Southern Voice,” – would realize this and change their strategy. Nope, didn’t happen and as a result many respected and important voices in the gay community were silenced. 11 papers and counting – not to mention that the advent of the gay book store is suffering as well (my partner and I have always wanted to run our own book store and cafe). It’s all about the internet now!!
Number 5: Congress says “yes” to HIV travelers.
When it comes to basic civil liberties for LGBT folks, it seems that the world gets it right before the U.S. does. It took a while, but Congress this year finally repealed the ban on HIV + travelers to this country. The ban represented one of the darkest moments for this country as we systemically discriminated against people with HIV while there was no scientific basis for the ban. The rest of the world admonished us for it – Obama recognized it was wrong and ended it.
Number 4: A March on Washington Returns!
I remember when I was a field producer in 1993 helping to produce a video for the March on Washington in ‘93. It was an amazing experience considering I was struggling with coming out to myself. I wanted to be in Washington in 2009 for this historic march – the National Equality March that brought over 250,000 people to the nation’s capital. What was extraordinary about this march? It was originally shunned by many, fearing cost and support. But a grass-roots campaign and national support from celebrities got the ball running and in 6 short months, the march was put together at a cost south of $200,000. Far cheaper and faster than any major march for LGBT rights on record.
Number 3: Activist win the fight in Washington and Kalamazoo – but lose in Maine.
Of course, if you listen to the right – gay folks are out to ruin the nation and convert our children and their was not shortness of rhetoric in the 2009 year. But a few victories were achieved. Kalamazoo upheld their law outlawing discrimination against LGBT people. Washington “upgrades” its domestic partnership law which includes many (if not all) of the benefits and protections afforded heterosexual couples. Maine on the other hand, overturned the same-sex marriage law – leaving only Civil Unions in place.
Number 2: And then there was 6?
So you are a gay couple and you want to get married. A few years ago, you had to travel to Canada or take a trip to the Netherlands. Not anymore. 6 states have allowed same-sex marriages: Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont (despite the Republican Governor’s veto), New Hampshire and Washington DC. Progress is slow but it’s coming.
Number 1: Pro Gay Legislation makes history!
President Obama signed into law the first pro-LGBT piece of legislation in United States history when he put his signature on the
A Victory for the Shepard Family
Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act. The legislation was first proposed a decade before after Shepard, a gay college student from Wyoming, was beaten and tied to a fence to die. Contributor Cathy Renna was one of the first LGBT activists to reach Matthew’s hospital bedside and worked with his mother, Judy Shepard to ensure passage of the legislation. The new law has already been instrumental in forcing an investigation into the death of Puerto Rican teenager Jorge Steven Lopez Mercado.
So there you have it – 10 issues that have made a difference in the live of gay and lesbian people all over the country. Here’s hoping for bigger and better things in 2010.
For the last year, I’ve ranted about how much I want to come out to my parents but how terrified I am of doing so. Of course, my nervousness is not anything unique, as LGBT people everywhere deal with anxiety of coming out, especially to someone as close to you as your parents.
This time last year, coming out to my parents was only a dream that would happen a long time away (or never, and I was ok with that). But as time ticks on, it becomes even more unbearable to live a life of censorship. And while the closet door is heavy… I feel that I’m about to push it wide open.
I’ve been watching coming out stories on Logo Online to help prepare myself. Often, at the end, the person being told is loving and accepting and often suspected. I smile at how nervous those people were verses the good reaction received. But then I look at my own self. I have perhaps the perfect door to come out to my mom. Let me tell you about that.
I have a best friend that I’ve known since Kindergarten. Even though we went to colleges three states apart, we’ve continued to stay best friends. My mom has taken her in as one of her own children, so my mom and this friend have a pretty close relationship.
Recently, my mom has been expressing to this friend how she doesn’t understand me, and she can’t understand why she doesn’t get me, though she desperately wants to. My friend, who knows I’m gay, mostly just listens, not wanting to out me. Well, my mom called her up the other day and flat out asked her if I was gay, and my friend said, “Well, she hasn’t told me she is, and I don’t think so, but you should really talk to her about that.” Which was a lie, but she didn’t know what else to say. Then my mom said, “But don’t you think so?” and proceeded to list why she thought I was gay. All my friend told her was, “You just need to talk to her about it.” In the mean time, mom has been telling me that she loves me no matter what and that I could tell her anything, and it didn’t matter what it was, she would always unconditionally love me.
She clearly wants me to come out to her. And man, I want to, but I’m still so terrified! (Slap me.) I guess I’m more afraid of my dad’s reaction than her’s. And I know she would tell my dad. I KNOW. But really, I’m mostly concerned about my girlfriend, because she only has one semester left of school and doesn’t want anything to jeopardize that. She definitely wants me to come out to them, but she’s scared they might try to get her kicked out of school. Now, she has already given me her blessing to come out to them any time I feel the need to, but I do understand her concern. I was TERRIFIED of being discovered and getting kicked out when I went to school there.
I know the time is now. I’m just still so terrified. Closet door… can someone else just open you for me?
My name is Destiny and I am a vampire. Unlike those bullshit stories, I don’t need blood to survive, I need cum juices. I am doomed to wander the earth alone for all of eternity, cat form when the sun is up and human form when the moon rises. Day time I get stroked and night time I do the stroking. Male or female, it doesn’t matter, as long as they cum so I can live for another day.
I prey on the helpless and the young. I prey only on those that are as beautiful as I am. I am not conceited. It’s a fact. The more gorgeous they are, the sweeter their cum tastes. Every night I roam the dark lit streets searching. Sniffing the air for the smell of sexual heat and young hot hormones. Searching for that special someone that I could feed off and you never know one day, someone I could love. I have never met anyone yet who had the same sexual desires and stamina as I do.
I just rounded the corner of the night club district about to give up on the search for this night, and that is when I found her. She stood outside the doors of a sleezy nightclub amongst a group of people. One quick look and I knew she met all my requirements and more.
Her red silky shiny hair just reaching beyond her shoulder blades, curling ever so slightly at the edges. Her mini skirt hugging her ass tightly and showed off her long slim legs that were tucked into thigh high come-fuck-me boots. Her secquenced black backless top drapped over her braless small but perky breast. Her green penetrating eyes met mine briefly as she glanced around and smiled at me with those full red scrumptious lips.
When our eyes met I knew everything about her. That’s one of my many vampire talents. Her name was Natalie and she was 18 years old. Her boyfriend Tim? James? no thats not right, ahhhh Jim, that’s it!, was the big burly looking fellow standing on her right. Her friends Ashley, Allie and Beth stood to her left. I knew she had been with 5 men before her boyfriend but never once with a female. I knew she had never touched herself. I knew she was hot and horny as hell. I knew by the end of the night she would be begging me for more.
I walked over to the group and grabbed her hand. No one dared to stop me.
“Come with me Natalie” I said, tugging at her hand.
“Yes” She said and no one questioned who I was or how I knew her name or why she was going with me. Not even her boyfriend.
I led her through the dark streets, neither of us saying a word. We arrived at my appartment a short time later. As I led her up the stairs, I thought about the things I would love to do to her and her do to me. My tight jeans rubbing against my clit as I took each step making the wetness on panties spread.
As soon as I closed the doors, I spun her around and forcefully yet passionately kissed her, feeling her hot breath enter my mouth and heard her moan from the back of her throat. I pulled her head back by her hair exposing her bare shoulders and nibbled and sucked at her neck until she began to go limp in my arms. I reached behind her hair and undid the ties to her top and then untied the back ones, letting her top drop to the floor.
“Undress” I said and stood back and watched.
Natalie bent over and unzipped her boots, taking each one off slowly, teasing and taunting me by taking her time. She smiled shyly as she undid her zipper and wiggled sexily out off both her skirt and panties. Involuntarily I sucked in a short burst of air, as I stared at her nakedeness. She was a beautiful woman with a bod to die for. I could not find one flaw.
“Come” I said as I went into to the bathroom.
I turned on the shower and got undressed. I knew she was staring at my lean athletic body and that made me even wetter. I stepped in and motioned for her to follow. When she was in the shower, I pushed her against the cold tiles and raised her hands above her head and held them there as I kissed her. I kissed her mouth, her neck and her arms taking my time and enjoying every moment. I grabbed both wrists with one hand and ran my hand down her smooth young body, down to her pussy and rubbed her lips with my fingers until I could feel her hip trying to press against my hand. Her body was begging my fingers to enter her lips and to touch her love bud.
“Please” she begged.
“NO” I replied.
I let go of her wrist and grabbed the shower gel and sponge and slowly went over every part of her body and then she did mine. Our bodies glistening from the shower gel and water. I held my breast in my hands and stepped closer to her and rubbed my hard nipples against hers. Her moaning and groaning got louder as our nipples touched. Our slippery bodies grinding each other’s.
“Please” she begged again.
“Not yet my love” I said sternly.
I ran my fingers down her cheek to her lips and she placed two of them inside her mouth. Looking deepily into my eyes, she began to suck at them. The moisture and sensation of her mouth and lips around my fingers, the water on my back was making my pussy throb and scream for attention. But I could wait. I could wait forever for that’s all I have.
I leaned forward and kissed those full lips once again. As I did I reached down and ran circles around her clit.
“Mmmmmmm, Oh God” she grunted.
“No I am not my dear Natalie, but close enough” I said as I entered her with my fingers.
Her sweet hot pussy felt so tight and moist around my fingers that I felt like I was in heaven. With my fingers inside her pounding away and my thumb rubbing her bud, I bit down on her shoulders with my vampire teeth bringing her to her first all girl orgasm. I could feel her pussy muscels contract against my fingers and her cum ran down my hand. I took out my fingers gently and raised them to my mouth and sucked and fed off her juices.
We tenderly washed each other with the sponge washing all the soapy gel away. I stepped out of the shower and dried myself off and then dried Natalie down. Slowly running the towell up and down those long legs and taking my time in between them. She followed me out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. I turned the CD Player on and heard the african drum music playing in the background.
I laid her on the bed, her hair still dripping wet from the shower, and I reached for the drawer. I pulled out my pink pearl vibrator and lube and kneeled between her legs.
“Use it on yourself” I said handing it to her.
She got the lube and rubbed it all over the vibrator.
“I have never used one before. But for you, I will my ….. I don’t even know your name” She looked at me uncertain for a moment.
“Destiny is my name and pleasuring you is my game, my sexy sweet Nata” and with that she smiled.
Natalie laid back on the pillows and closed her eyes letting the music engulf her. She ran her hands over her breast and over her hard pink nipples. Her body arching as she did so. She cupped her breasts in her hands and squeezed them gently, moaning softly. There was still lube on her hands and now she spread it over her breast making them shine by the bedside light. Natalie placed her fingers again around her nipples and rubbed them as she pulled them to to point I knew it would hurt. A good hurt.
“Ohhhhhh that feels so good” she said huskily.
She ran her hands together down the middle of her firm flat stomach and over her mound of red hair and into her sweet pussy. Her ass lifting off the sheets as she raised up to meet her hands. Her fingers disappearing into her pussy twisting and turning only coming out to rub her swollen clit.
I reached over and handed her the vibrator that she had placed beside her. She pressed the on button and it began to hum, the pearls going around in a semi circular motion. She placed it against her pussy and slowly inserted it. Only an inch, then two and as she grunted she took the whole lot.
“Oh my God, Oh my God!” she screamed.
The vibrator disappeared deeply into her soaking wet pussy, with the tickler rubbing at her clit. She let it sit there for a couple of seconds then pounded the vibrator in and out, slow at first the fast. She would stop the vibrator so the pearls were just at the enterance of her pussy and let the pearls work their magic and then pound away again. The vibrations sending her body into spasms. She began to cum.
As I sat between her legs watching her, I placed my own hand in between my legs and began to rub my own hard pulsating clit to the beating of the drums in the background. My head fell backwards, my long hair brushing against my naked back as I too began to climax.
We both came together. Her body twisting and bucking with her orgasm, mine sending my legs to jelly.
I decided right then that I could not let her go. Let her go back to her former life and her boyfriend. I wanted my sweet darling Natalie as I have never wanted anything more in my long entire life.
“Natalie, my sweet baby, do you want to stay with me forever or go back to your boring life? Are you cumming or going?” I asked, no I dared her.
“Staying, cumming, what ever you so desire my Destiny” she smiled.
I lent forward and I sunk my teeth into her clit and gently sucked her lingering remaining cum that was still around her pussy, tasting her sweetness. I moved over her body and kneeled above her head.
“Baby suck me, lick me, become me” I ordered, as I placed my pussy over her lips.
“Yes, Yes, Oh god, YES please” she begged.
She hungrily flicked her tongue around my clit in cirlces. And when I thought I couldn’t take anymore, she then she fucked my pussy with her long tongue. She stopped and began to suck and lick my clit, bringing me to new orgasmic heights until I came again, this time all over her lovely face.
When she finished tasting me, I moved my body down lower on hers, my still wet pussy and clitoris rubbing against her naked chest leaving a wet slimy trail. I bent over and kissed her, letting both our cum juices combine in our mouths. That was I all I needed to do to make her mine. Combined juices makes her like me, just my juices alone would kill her.
I then sat up and watched her transform. I watched in fascination as her green eyes had turned into a crystal blue and her red hair darkened until it became black. She died as I watched her and then she sat up and sucked in a breath of air and became a cum sucking creature of the night. If it was possible, she was twice as gorgeous.
We fell asleep in each others arms and woke as two cats and spent the day licking each other, waiting for the moon to appear so we could make love to each other.
She’s only cumming for me now. And OH baby! she cums and she cums again and again. And each time she cums, I cum. We never have to go searching anymore. We feed off only each other. Living off each others juices. Never needing another human except when we desire a hard throbbing cock, but that is another story……..
Somehow pain goes from something so harsh that breathing becomes gasping for air, eating becomes shoving food down to a stomach that can barely stand it, and living is nothing but forcing your eyes open after a blessed eight hours of unconscious, to just a twinge of something that still manages to taint everything joyful in your life. Okay, very melodramatic, and I only felt like I was hyperventilating for a few hours afterward, but still, for a good few months there, life was pretty much zombie-land. After that, the winter seems to move inside of you, so that to all purposes you can act and appear normal.
මිනිස් දිවිය බෙහෙවින් සුන්දරය සුළු සුළු අඩුලුහුඩුකම් තිබුනද එය එතරම් ගැටළුවක් නොවේ. එහෙත් දැනුවත්ව හෝ නොදැනුවත් බව හේතුවෙන් මිනිස් ජිවිතය පරිහානිය කරා ගෙනයන්නේද මිනිසා විසින්මය.ඔවුන් තම දිවියට වටිනාකමක් එක් කරනවාට වඩා ඔවුන්ගේ ජිවිතය පණ පිටින්ම විනාශය කරා ගෙනයාම ශෝකයට කරුණකි. මත්පැන්, මත් කුඩු ,ආදිය මගින් තරුණ දිවිය අකාලයේ මලිනවීමට සැලැස් වීම දඩුවම් ලැබිය යුතු වරදක් නොවන්නේද?
බොහෝ දෙමව්පියන්ගේ නොකටයුතු හේතුවෙන් වර්තමානයේ වන්දි ගෙවනුයේද ඔවුන්ගේම දු දරුවන්මය.අනාගත පරපුර මෙවැනි දුසිරිත්වලින්මුදවා ගැනිමට අඩිතාලම දැමිය යුත්තේ දෙමව්පියන්මය.
My name is Destiny and I am a vampire. Unlike those bullshit stories, I don’t need blood to survive, I need cum juices. I am doomed to wander the earth alone for all of eternity, cat form when the sun is up and human form when the moon rises. Day time I get stroked and night time I do the stroking. Male or female, it doesn’t matter, as long as they cum so I can live for another day.