I suck at this blogging thing; I will never understand how people post every day. *Shivers*
Now, after this past week I had, I was greatly looking forward to my relaxing weekend. Right.
So, it started on Friday. Classes were done, so my next stop was the doctor’s office. Apparently, I have this heart murmur / anxiety thing and over the past couple of weeks, I’ve had blood drawn, been physically examined and had a heart monitor slapped onto me. Nevertheless, despite my rapid heart beat, the doctor informed me that I am physically fine. Which means I’m anxious with possible signs of anxiety disorder.
…
WHAT?! So, in addition to the Klonipin I had been prescribed, I was also prescribed Zoloft. ZOLOFT! Damn man. I’ve seen those commercials with that dumbass egg bouncing around depressed because he’s got no legs. If an egg needs Zoloft, then I’m f*cked! Anyyyway (lol isn’t TMI fuuunn), after that, I had another appointment across town for a PAP smear! I was so excited I starting doing jumping jacks and cart wheels. But in any case, I had the divine opportunity to wait in the waiting room for 2+ hours for some chick to stick some metal shit… SORRY lol, gettin’ graphic now…*clears throat*
Well, after that relaxing event, I needed to buy my groceries so I drove on over to Kroger’s and bought a crap load of yogurt. Mostly because the doctor stated that yogurt is good for women in general, but I eat it anyway and I love Activa blueberry. So, because I knew that’s the only thing I was getting, I didn’t bother with a basket. I charged right to the yogurt aisle and piled that shit up. Of course, I saw new flavors and had to get those too (Mixed berry, well color me purple and paint me a tutu!), so I ended up with The Tower of Yogurt with my pale ass arms as its foundation. But I thought hey–checkout is right there and there’s only one guy. It was one of those ones where you do it yourself. WELL, what should have been 30 seconds turned into 4 or 5 minutes of him having to call a Kroger worker to help him with practically each item.
Why you ask?
Because the dude somehow didn’t know that you had to run the BAR CODE over the scanner. I mean, seriously…he was trying to scan his Colgate toothpaste with the bar code staring right at us toward the ceiling. He even had the audacity to offer me a weak sympathy smile with a shrug of his shoulders as if saying, “Damn machines slash technology!” I felt like there should have been a disclaimer at his interface: ‘Scanners don’t read cardboard k.’ I mean…an 8 year old could do it. What a moron! (Moron: a retarded person mentally equal to a child between eight and twelve years old). Anyway, I’m being mean, but it was annoying standing there with The Tower of Yogurt. I mean, I’m not Pisa here; if I start tipping, I will fall!
Of course, when I finally managed to start checking out, I hear this voice, “Wow, that’s a LOT of yogurt!” I try to remain pleasant and lo and behold, it’s some guy who’s probably a college student like me. So I say, “Yup! It’s good for you!” He replies, “Yes, it is!”
I thought he was done, but nope.
“So, is that all you eat? Yogurt?” And okay…I know I had a less than stellar day and everything, but I couldn’t help but answering, “And babies!” LOL Then I left the store, got into my car, heaved a great sigh of relief and started driving out of the parking lot slowly when this bigass SUV backs into the right side of my car. I mean…we have rear view mirrors and necks for a reason! And it’s some dude with three of his buddies and he magically doesn’t have his insurance info with him. *Sigh* Anyway, I got as much of his info as I could.
SO, I drove back, with these scratches and a big dent in the back side of my car, threw all my stuff in my room (like I felt like being neat and organized right then!) and plopped into my recliner. WITH MY YOGURT. And f*ck, it was good.
Saturday was my lazy day of course. I thought about studying. Yup, that’s it. So now, it is Sunday! And this morning/afternoon has actually been a bit interesting. I attended a church with a completely different value system than my own, but the preacher was funny. See, that’s the most important thing—if the preacher has a sense of humor. Anyway, it was all about…spirituality and how all religions believe in the same God, but just don’t know it. I must have received four hugs and five pamphlets in the first 30 seconds I entered the church. Apparently, they come equipped with hearing aids for the elderly and Noob Radar. It’s the perfect religion for hippies. Hmm…well, if it works for them…!
In any case, afterward, I was to meet up with a friend for lunch. When I arrived, I began looking around for my friend and noticed this girl constantly glancing at me. Blatantly. Obviously. And so of course, I can’t help but keep glancing at her, too, whilst thinking, ‘What are you looking at?’ lol. So, I think I eventually made this face or something because that’s when she blurted (and I mean blurted LOUDLY), “OH! Sorry, I was only looking at you because I like your outfit! I don’t want you to think…I wasn’t….” She was stuttering and everything. The hilarity and irony of it all nearly caused me to bust out laughing.
Of course, my weekend isn’t quite over yet and I have a job interview tomorrow for which I must prepare (woo!), not to mention the midterm on Thursday, the paper due next week, and the general studying and classes in between…
F*ck. I need some yogurt.
No comments:
Post a Comment