Desperate Women

Last night the worst sex partner of my life tried to contact me yet again.

It was a one night stand.

Now, I know I’m not the most sympathetic person in the world.  In fact, a friend of mine is quoted to have said, “Trying to get sympathy from you is like squeezing water from a stone.”   As much as I love that she said that about me, we know I’m not the most frigid person either (…don’t we…).  So I could feel for her if we had hooked up a few times and suddenly I gave her the cold shoulder (hmm, sounds like my situation with Mr. Postman).

But that’s not what happened.  We hooked up ONCE.  And I hated it.  Although I may have been all smiles and said, “Oh yeah, sure we’ll hang out again,”  I was lying.  Why would I roll out of bed with you and tell you, “Wow, that was awful.  Please don’t call me again.”  That’d be pretty rude.

But I feel like after the second time she called and I didn’t respond, she should have understood that I was over it.  In fact, one of those times I accidentally answered the call, immediately clicked the END button, and then ignored her attempt to call again.  But no – she didn’t get it.  Last night around eleven she sent me a text saying:

Hey mama! u forgot bt me? wanted to knw if u wanna get together wth my boyfriend an me? we wana mk dinner at my hs an invite u….

I’m at the point now where I feel like I should respond.  I don’t want to completely blow her off.  I feel like that’s bad karma and will come back to haunt me.  But my initial reaction and most honest response would be, “HELLLLL NO.”  The thought of her and her boyfriend who I have never met but imagine him to be a big, burly, and unattractive black man brings traces of my greasy Wok Crazy back into my throat.

Maybe I should just continue ignoring her, but there has to be away to politely but firmly say:

Listen babe.  We are never going to see each other in a romantic or sexual setting ever again.  Ever.

Is that gentle enough?

With Alotta Love,

zee zee cakes